But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This is my gift to your gina
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
