Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
