Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
