...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
