i love accidental penises.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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