Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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