Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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