my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
