No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
