this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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