Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
