I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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