drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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