She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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