I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
