Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
