last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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