My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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