I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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