I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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