i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
this boner is exhausting
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize