Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
