Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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