Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Pooping to opera.
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