I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
