Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
