so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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