Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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