You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just cropdusted the office
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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