So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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