i jhust puked up my retainher.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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