you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize