I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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