I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
