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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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