It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize