I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
operation harelip BJ is a go
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
