God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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