someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
