I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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