I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
