She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
