I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment