the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.