I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
