Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
