don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
