I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he shaved USA in his pubs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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