I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
