I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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