Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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