just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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