yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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