he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
