I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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