Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
