My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
