so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
