I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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